2020 will be my 10th year Paying it Forward with a new athlete.

2019 will be my 9th year Paying it Forward with a new athlete.

I just got done racing 5 weekends in a row.   And, no, I don’t recommend it – it is hard.  But, I know how to make it work for me, even in my highest levels of fatigue.

I made the choice to race 5 weekends in a row, so I alone would either reap the reward or pay the consequences of that decision.   But, I knew, if I was smart, I would be just fine.

I sponsor as many local races as I possibly can.  And, with that privilege comes responsibility.   I do the group rides, group swims, runs, training plans and even manage the Facebook pages for these groups.  And, it means I will be there on race day too.   And, while I can, I will race these races.   Some of the races have 100 athletes and some 500+.   It is a great way for me to give back but also be super involved in my community and help friends and athletes.  It is a win-win for me.

An athlete I coach recently asked me,  “What do you think about when you are racing?   I loved that question.

I don’t think.  I just do.

I know my strengths and I know my limiters. One of my best strengths and something I worked so very hard at is compartmentalization.  As a mom there were days in the past I would sleep MAYBE 4 hours at night and have to race.  Or, I would have dozens of my own athletes at a race and answer questions all morning only to turn around and race myself.   I have learned to compartmentalize everything.

I create boxes in my head.  One box is family, another is work, another is my body, another is the race, etc.  And, when I race I take out the work box and the self racing box, etc.  I leave the KID box and husband box and “I have to go grocery shopping” box on the shelf.  I do not allow myself to go there.  It is just a waste of energy and space at that time.  It is like flipping the switch.  If you can work on this innate ability, it will be the best use of your time from a mental preparation standpoint.   Don’t think about work – about your kids – about your spouse – leave that on the shelf.   COMPARTMENTALIZE your life and it makes things so much easier to live and be present.

The five races I did consisted of:  10 mile run race, Sprint Triathlon, Madison 70.3, Sprint Triathlon and another Sprint (longer one) Triathlon.

In all of those races, I never once had a watch on.    I was present and racing the competition.  What was I going to do if my watched beeped, “you are working too hard!”   Slow down?  Why?  In a ½ Ironman, of course I am prudent and smart, but in a Sprint Triathlon??  Either I am up front or I am not.  Period.  No data is going to gauge that feeling of ALL OUT for me better than my gut.   Learn how to race and learn how to suffer – and just use the data for a check in.  But, I am flying by people coming out of the water hitting buttons or fumbling w/ their watches and I just get those 10 more seconds out of myself as that unfolds.

Many of us race for different reasons.  I know myself and as I continue to get older and slower I race the competition.  Locally, I am racing every girl.  At the big races (Madison 70.3) I race my Age Group.

But, what is really important is not that I think data is bad.  Goodness no!  I coach with all the data.  What I just think is way more important is what many coaches try to teach and many athletes try to learn:   JUST DELIVER the results.

Every year I go into these races more and more scared.   Fear is healthy…if you can understand what it is there for.  I use FEAR to motivate me.  I know I am slower than I used to be (moreso on run than swim/bike), and I know, for example, the girls are getting closer to me but I just try super hard to prepare better, out transition them (I had the fastest transition for all women this past weekend of 400+ racers  – that should not happen anymore really!), I sleep more, I eat more (good foods), I mentally visualize EVERY race before I ever get there and you know what?  I am always crossing the finish line first in my own mind.   AND so on race day, all I see if me crossing the finish line first.  I don’t prepare or settle for anything less.  I always say to myself, “Jenny make them beat you.”  And, if someone beats me, then I can leave knowing I gave it my all – and isn’t that what we want?   The ability to race up to our potential?

How I look at all these races and destroying myself FOR 5 weekends in a row – vomiting up in a few of the sprints, crying in private in my shower post race because I had emptied the tank completely again.  HOW could I recover and do it again and again and again….?

What people don’t see is the private side of the athlete.  After I finished Madison 70.3 I went to my car because we were soaking wet….and I was DONE.  I had a very good race but had to fight every step for that result.  I was just flat that day.   I cried and cried (sorry, sounds so dramatic) – because I could not take another step.  I left it all out there and was just so relieved it was over.   I was allowing myself to just get it all out because I had to be to in tune and focused all damn day.

And, at 47 ½ years old, can I still be competitive?  I ask myself that EVERY winter.  And, when I did the 1^st triathlon of the 5 in a row, I was racing against some very fast girls.  In fact, I was 2^nd last year and the girl who ran 6:20s and beat me last year was racing again this year.  You better believe I was scared.  Nothing like spending your entire race being hunted down.  But, all I did was use that to motivate me to swim harder and bike even harder to put MORE time on her so those 6:20s would not catch my 40” slower per mile pace!  I did not let her beat me before I even got there – I was motivated and excited to race head to head with her!   I used that fear to push myself to the next level – and it worked.  I did beat her this year and that was my success that day.

I had to figure out how to win and then, do it better than anyone else.  I committed myself to success & excellence (and you have to determine what that success is to you) and I get ONE shot every time I race.  And, you bet your ass you would never hear me complaining that the water is too cold, or it is too hot or so and so is here racing (right Elizabeth?) – I cannot control that so you bet I would spend about 1 second worrying about any of that.  All I can control is HOW I show up and race.  Nothing rattles me.

I secretly thrive on bad conditions in training and moreso in racing.  I stand around listening to all the chatter at races and just think, “This is SO awesome, these athletes have already put themselves out of the race before it starts.  I already won.”

I have spent my entire racing life compensating for what I don’t have.  I am not the most talented athlete – absolutely not – far from it.  I coach athletes that are 100x more talented than I ever will be.  But, successful athletes make shit happen.   As Tim Grover said in his book Relentless (my favorite), “Unsuccessful people make excuses, blame everyone else, and never get past the deficiencies.”

One of the other things I really have worked hard at over the years is having the ability to adjust when things go wrong on the fly.   You drop a race bottle?  Your swim is not wetsuit legal (best news ever)?  Some athletes are paralyzed with this flexibility.  Don’t be.   That is why many athletes write race plans – it is not just “busy work” it is there to allow the athlete to think through all the scenarios and be ready for everything.  Be flexible and SO what is the swim is cancelled (I would swear privately)!  So what if the race is delayed!  Or it is raining or windy!   Just adapt.   And, be flexible.    And, rise to the occasion.

Racing in my mind when I race are a lot of quotes and mantras that personally motivate me.  I thrive on pressure.  The more pressure the better.   Tim Grover talks about how most people run from stress and don’t embrace that pressure.  I am motivated by pressure and thrive on positive stress.  “Stress keeps you sharp, it challenges you in ways you never imagined and forces you to solve issues and manage situations that send weaker people running for cover.  You can’t succeed without it.  Your level of success is defined by how well you embrace and manage it.”

I have a journal that I keep.  In this journal are all these key mantras and things that inspire me to be my best.   Tim Grover is about 50% of my quotes.  I also have little tid bits in there that someone shares with me (a friend, athlete) or someone says when they don’t think I am listening.

And, I never go into a race thinking I will be 3^rd or 1^st or 15^th.  On paper, there are many people that are faster than me that I race.   In fact, I raced against one of my athletes I coach this past weekend and on paper, aside from the swim, she is faster than me (bike and run).  And, I know her strengths/weaknesses, but that is only as good as the paper it is written on.  When that gun goes off, it becomes mind over matter.   And, it is you and the miles in between to that finish line.  And, all of those details:  The pacing, the fueling, the mental toughness, the grit – that is what will bring you to your goal, whatever that goal is.

I just wrapped up my final race of the 5 this past Sunday.  And, I was getting a little lazy with my fueling and eating (all on me).  I sometimes get REALLY tired of eating.  I really don’t love it – I love eating chocolate and crap, really, I do.  So, when I have to eat pasta and oatmeal for the 10000x time, I want to gag.  It is just tiring, honestly.  So, I woke up on Saturday morning, the day before my race and was starving.  THAT is a problem.  I had breakfast (normal stuff) and then did my short workout and then ate eggs, pancakes and all of that and then kept eating all day – just that minor miscalculation could cost me racing at 100% on Sunday.  Thankfully it was a SPRINT Triathlon, but that is when we start making mistakes – when we get tired and lackadaisical.   So, it is now time to rest my body and mind for a little bit.

Finishing up my last Triathlon of the 5 this past weekend, I literally said out loud in the final mile of the run portion, “THANK YOU BODY.”    I meant it.  I am not kind to my body and mind putting it through the ringer every weekend.  And, sometimes I have no idea how I will be able to do it again.  In fact, getting mentally ready is way harder than the physical side of the race.  My body will go on auto-pilot – I have to work really hard to get that end result.   Attack, control the race and myself and go after the win.

This blog makes me sound very cold and calculating – but I am far from that.  In fact, one of my biggest limiters is I like my competitors.  I am super social and want to sit around chatting with everyone.  But, I have learned to rise above that and get the best version of myself out of every race even while wanting to talk about kids or life with my competition.

The last quote I read on Saturday night before my last race of the 5 was this one by Tim Grover.  It fits me perfectly now:

“The challenge is staying there, and most people don’t have the balls to put in the work. If you want to be elite, you have to earn it.  Every day, everything you do.  Earn it. Prove it.  Sacrifice.”

I am not sure how much longer, at 47 I can win local races, but don’t look a gift horse in the mouth either.

Are blogs dead?  I am afraid they may be (boo!).  And, I have done little to help that phenomenon lately.  But, truth be told, I like blogs.  I like to journal and I like to read about athletes and people’s triumphs and tragedies, frankly.  Social media is great – but it is just too clean.   Blogs, although may be passé, allow us to get deeper into someone’s life AND I like that.

So, what is up?  Let’s do an update, as boring or titillating as it may be.

Racing:

Last year I loved the way that my schedule was set up.  I raced a ton and all local.  I raced 5 weekends in a row (aggressive) and then I decided to do USAT AG Nationals in August to end my season.  I loved, loved training for short course racing.  I was never gone too long, training or racing, and between raising (ie, carpooling) teenage twins and work, it was great for that time in my life.   I raced my guts out all summer and got to do what I really love to do:  Race head to head.   USAT Nationals is for me, the reason I train so hard and race.  I get to mix it up with some of the best short course athletes in the country – all head to head.  It is exhilarating and fun for me.  I really, really enjoyed it.  I left with a 7^th place finish at OLY (top 10 podium) Nationals and the Sprint Triathlon race came down to the last ½ mile, where I was in the lead and lost in the last ½ mile.  While I was surely disappointed; I left it all out there for that race and managed to walk away in 2^nd at Nationals the day after shredding myself apart in the Olympic race.  To me, that was enough.  I was nauseous for days after the effort I put forth that weekend.   I was satisfied and went into my off season.  I raced up to my potential 100%.  And, for me, that is all I ever want.

I took some time off training, like I always do each fall to recover, rejuvenate and figure out what is next.  I need to be super careful in my off season, since I coach full time, I need to make sure I take some time away from Triathlon a bit and really focus on something else.  Usually the week of Thanksgiving allows me to get away from everything and head to California with my family to visit my childhood BFF and visit sunny LA and make the trek over to Tucson to close out our visit.  I love this time with my family and it is the only time I do not work all year.  I come back from this trip ready to tackle Chicago’s winter and Christmas (favorite time of the year!) and the following year.

I have been itching to do another Ironman.  I have done 4, but each of them have been in a new age group.  I have done:  25-29, 30-34, 35-39 an 40-44.  Last time I did an IM it was Kona in 2013, when I was 42.  I am now racing 45-49 and it is time.  I waited because I really needed my kids to get their licenses before I started to train at that level again.  I did not want to miss anything major with my kids or have them miss anything because I was not around to take them to their activities.  Morgan has her license now (heaven) and Graham is slated for June 1^st.  Bittersweet for sure, but exciting freedom for them & a new phase in our lives.

With some egging on of my friend, Patrick Chalmers, we both signed up for Ironman Maryland in 2018.  I am excited to take on an Ironman again and do one aside from Kona.  My only non-Kona IM was Ironman Arizona in 2011, which I loved.  But, it was important for me to do it on a course I would like and would suit me well – Eagleman 70.3 is my all time favorite race and one I have done almost 8-9x over the years.  I decided that since I am going to do a full, I will go back to the Eagleman course and do it there.  So, 2018 is the year!  I should write about how different the IM is in each age group – I think I will do that after I finish this one!

Business:

With the downtime I had in the fall, I was itching to do something a little different too with my JHC Coaching business.  However, I did not want to change the core of my business.  I still love what I do and love the athletes and teams/groups I work with.  But, at the same time, I wanted to provide my athletes with a larger community and network of peers, sponsorship opportunities and experts.  My very good friend, Elizabeth, who runs Multisport Mastery, and I have always worked very closely together.  Over the years, we have co-coached teams, charity groups, a Para-Triathlete Olympian and top age group athletes.  We complement each other very well and it was a natural progression to combine our teams from a community perspective.  We have a very active Facebook group and are able to offer combined swim clinics, camps, educational opportunities and more.  The last two months have been fun and I know our athletes have enjoyed the comradery that the group offers.

Personal:

Every year I have done Triathlon, I have needed to find a new WHY.   I don’t really PR anymore at all – so I have to dig DEEP to figure out what I am trying to accomplish.   Train for an IM?  I better damn well have a very good reason to do that.  But, I am also not normal:  I do NOT have any issues waking up at 5:00am to train.  In fact, I have never, ever, used a snooze button.  Honestly, while I know what it is, I just never understood it.  I wake up, I get up and I go.  Now, I don’t have little babies at home either, so my nights are my own after I go to bed and that is key.  However, I like to be fit and I like to move.  I rarely get terribly out of shape.  But, there is a huge difference between training and working out.  This is the reason I have and will always have a coach (yes, Elizabeth still coaches me).  I like to work out.  I like to swim with friends.  I like to teach my Computrainer classes.  But, training is much more inclusive, specific and detailed.  I knew, once I made the commitment to big races in 2018, that I would train and not just workout as I feel.

Nevertheless, in December, I was in Key West celebrating a friend’s (Mia!) 40^th birthday and she wanted to do a 10k.  We all signed up and I thought I was in shape to run fast.   Well, I went out with the 1^st place girl, holding what I normally can hold and BAM!  I stopped right in my tracks and pissed off my hamstring.  I did not pull it, but I could NOT walk for awhile and I babied it for weeks.  That was a rude reminder that I should not chase the teenager out of the blocks while I am “working out” versus “training.”  And, a reminder that I MUST behave and be smart.   With age comes wisdom. Lots of it -luckily for me.

I am conservative (training wise) normally.  I like to do the minimum I need to perform at the level I want to perform at; however, that is a tricky line.  What is too much?  What is enough to meet my goals?  And, my goals are always aggressive, but very clear.  Otherwise, I would not do it.  I have many other hobbies (decorating my new house!) that I can do in my free time.

I am intrigued what it will take and how my body will respond in the 45-49 age group training for what I want to do at IM MD.   I recently had to add in stretching work – I see a guy named Dave from Elite Stretching regularly now to work on my hamstrings, posterior lower legs and hips.  I am tight and it only gets worse as I do triathlon longer and longer.  I also take Pilates 1x/week and have been for 5-6 years.  Again, another staple for me.  And, I take a hard TRX class for full body mobility, functionality and strength.  I like it.   But, I just really want to s/b and run and move on with myself…but I know I cannot have it all.

In a time when I do not really PR anymore, I still am grateful for the fire I still have to race and race hard.  I set new goals and new opportunities to define what it is like to race in each age group after 20 years.  I don’t need to PR anymore – but that doesn’t mean I will not go into each race I do with a very clear and aggressive goal.  Making sure I am the best version of myself at each age and setting a good example to my athletes and my children that we should never stop giving 100% and never settle – it really is the “why” I do all of this racing.   But, let’s be honest with each other – I will not give up the will and desire to win because THAT is really what drives me every day at 5am when the alarm goes off.