There is no perfect race:   Winning comes down to tenacity, patience and pain management.

This weekend I traveled to Oklahoma City to race in the Long Course National Championships (1/2 Ironman).  I decided I wanted to race the “double” this year:  Short Course and Long Course Nationals.

Fall has come to Chicago and I was ready to start my off season.  It was 30sF overnight and I wanted to drink apple cider and eat apple donuts, frankly.  But, I knew I was super fit – healthy and motivated to race long course nationals.  We kept my workouts very race specific, doing as little as I needed to get the job done AND never losing the sight of my goal:    To win Nationals – which, clearly, is never an easy feat and something I have never done.

In September, I am fit and my job was to keep things LIGHT leading into LC Nats and hold onto any strength I had and to stay sharp.  Honestly, that meant weeks where my workout totals were only 10-12 hours.  YEP.  For long course Nationals, I was in such great shape – the key was not to go into a HOT (race day was mid 90s) even 1% over-cooked in late September.  I have so many miles on my legs, I just needed to sharpen up for Oklahoma.  Luckily, I arrived in OKC – fresh and ready to race.

Elizabeth and I traveled to OKC and this trip did not disappoint.  We actually travel VERY well together and we know how to get ready to race, eat the right things AND have some fun – all of which is so critical for racing – but more importantly for Long Course racing.  This trip down to OKC I demanded we hire a driver to take us to the airport – stay at a 4 star hotel (after our dump in Burlington, I needed to get on this one!) – and basically have people take care of us.  I realize that sounds snooty; which, is not really the case at all.  I just have traveled and race for so long and all over – that IF I am going to OKC in 90 degree heat – Miss Daisy and Maude will be taken care of.  And, as a result, I have NEVER tipped so much in my entire life – I went through over $30 in SINGLES probably this weekend!  But, besides putting our bikes together and taking them apart – we did not do much more work.  Perfect.

I told Elizabeth when I am 50, we will need someone to DRIVE US TO THE START line on race day.  Preferably in a pink, stretch limo (which, by the way, we did see in OKC and nearly peed our pants).

I think the biggest blonde moment of the weekend came when Elizabeth and I drove the bike course and it felt like it was SO long – and desolate (it was!) – and we both said, “Gosh, I cannot believe we have to do that course 2x.”  On race day, as Elizabeth and I traded bike positions on the bike – one time I said to her, “This is a 1 looped course – DUH!!”    We had no idea it was a 1 loop bike course until we were out racing on it!

Race day came and I was ready to go.  We ate, had the bellman get our car (see…) and arrived at transition in pitch dark.   Our LC National Championships started first – along with the normal ½ Ironman race and the Aquabikes and the FULL Ironman (god bless those athletes out in that 95F degree heat AND desolate OK roads all day!!).  The water table in the lake was so low!  I started front and center and knew I would get hammered but I did not care – I needed/wanted a good swim to separate myself from some/any uber bikers out there.  The gun went off and I shot out of it like a cannon.  And, let me tell you, I do not shoot out of anything fast.  I wanted to get a good position.  I realized that not only did I get a good position, I was in the front pack!  I got a little off course – and out of the corner of my eye I see Elizabeth!  She worked so hard on that swim  – I told her to jump on my feet and STAY there!

I came out of the water first overall female – of ALL females that day.  That made me happy – I did not have a watch on – so I had no idea what my time was but I could have cared less.  The race was mine to lose.

I got onto the bike and my goal was to KEEP THINGS way easy for the first 30 minutes.  I knew it was hot out there, but I am not acclimated anymore to heat and I knew it would bite me in the ass in the last 30  minutes if I was not smart.  We had a tail wind AND I kept my watts way lower than I needed to – or would have if I did not ride with that power meter.  I must say, I am A HUGE fan of power for long course racing, it saves me from myself – especially in the heat.  Anyway, I was 1^st onto the bike and then a gal went by me fairly strongly at 45 minutes and she was 41 years old.  OK…game on now…time to race.  I got up to goal watts and rode strong and steady.  Soon after that Elizabeth came by me and we rode back and forth until the ½ way mark.

I had to let the 41 year old go on the bike – she was riding too strong for me to chase her – and she was a bigger girl (not heavy, just not 100 lbs) so I knew either she was going to KILL this race or she would implode.  Time would tell.

The roads were in crappy shape – really, really bad.  And, at some point, I lost a bottle of my nutrition.  If I knew I dropped it, I would have stopped to get it.  But, around 1:45 I reached for it and nothing was there!  So, I had to go to water/Gatorade, which is not my favorite combination for long course.  My stomach started to bother me and while my power remained steady, my cadence decreased and I was hitting a real low part.  I also had gone thru ½ bar, 5 gels and some salt.  Then, my stomach started really bothering me – and I stood for parts to get my stomach back to normal…I could not wait to get off the bike.  I was in a real low and thought there was no way I could run 13.1 miles – fast.

I arrived in T 2 and was in 3^rd position overall.  I was actually a little surprised because I fell off the bike pace a bit there – that I was still in 3^rd OA.  I actually was a hot mess.  The temps were hot, but honestly, it was not that bad.  It is a dry heat in Oklahoma and we had a breeze.  I sat in T2 and peed and peed and got my head around this run ahead of me.  I estimated that the girl leading my AG was at least 6-7 minutes ahead of me, conservatively.  THAT is a lot of time if she can run. I headed out of T2 and had actually had my legs.

This run course is flat but all on concrete and windy, trail-like paths.  I LOVED IT.  I could see the runners and it was out and back and 2 loops…a perfect course when you are chasing someone.  I almost let her go.  I almost allowed myself to believe I could not chase her down.  I had already stopped twice in two port-o-johns to crap my brains out.  And, this was in the first 4 miles.  HOW in the hell do you catch the lead girl when you are stopping to crap – twice in 4 miles?  AND once in the bushes at mile 7???

I will tell you how….you rely on that girl messing up her race plan in 90 degree temps.  You hope that the conservative approach on the front end of the bike/run will pay off enough and chip away on her lead.   AND YOU never ever ever give up.  AND, you have to think fast on your feet.  I knew that due to my awesome poopy pants that I had too much in my gut, so I was able to adapt at the end of the bike and on the run…I needed to be quick and sharp to get this win.

At mile 6 I saw Elizabeth, she said, “Keep chipping away at her.”   I put my head down and just swallowed the pain.  I did not allow myself to feel.  THE entire time I repeated over and over, probably 1,000 times, “It will all be worth it Jenny – you can be the National Champion…it will all be worth it…woth it….worth it…..”

I put my head down and ran as hard as the weather would permit –I was around 7:15-7:40 all day…slower than I wanted to be, but considering my stomach was a hot mess, I was OK.  And, who cares what pace you are running if you can catch the first place girl, right?  And, due to my stomach, I could ONLY drink water/COKE.  I had nothing else.  I had enough salt and calories on the bike…but it was a fine line.  I carried gels and salt for the entire run, because I knew at any second I would need something.  AND, ice saved my ass too.  I had ice down my sports bra to keep my core cooler – it helped.

At mile 10-11 I see Elizabeth again.  She is clearly in 1^st overall and I realized that it would be SO cool for us to go 1-2 overall at this race – WHO would have thought?  We pass and she says, “She is 1 minute up, Jen.”  At that point I knew I could do this.  If I could cut into her lead by almost 5+ minutes in 10 miles, I can do 1 minute in 3 miles.  And, so I went.  I dug really deep.  I grabbed as much coke/water I could at each aide station and dumped water over my head to allow my body to really get ready for what is ahead of me.  I round the turnaround corner and I have less than 3 miles ahead of me.  The course is super crowded since this is a 2 looped course.  I am flying by athletes and I am painfully focused on that girl – and FINALLY I see her and her pink shorts.  I slow my pace to catch my breath so that when I go by her, I can sprint past her so she does not attach herself to me and we battle for 2 miles in that heat for the win.

I pass her, say, “nice job” and go hard past her…BUT I was so happy.  I was so proud of my race and I could have given a rat’s ass if the time was 6 hours OR 4:30.  I was in the lead at the National Championships at mile 11.  The race was mine to lose.  AND I did not let off the throttle.  WHO knows who is lurking back there.  I did not really let off the gas until I crossed the finish line.  AND in the last 4 miles I did not have to stop and crap myself.  So, that was a bonus.  I ran a 1:41, which is slower than I thought I would run, but guess what?  IT DOES NOT MATTER.  I crapped myself for 13.1 miles and won the AG, who cares!

As I entered the Finish Chute I saw 4:57  – I had NO idea what the time was, but I was happy to be under 5 hours for sure.  I raced without a watch.  When I can go head to head with my AG, I do not need to know anything but who is in front of me.  I think it is so freeing and I race best when the game is ON.  As I finished I saw Elizabeth in the waiting area and we both smiled at one another – nothing really even had to be said.  We were both SO happy and to get 1-2 and both be National Champions was almost too much to grasp.

But, I was a mess.  I had mentally and physically given that race my all and I could not take another step.  I was thirsty, sore, tired and euphoric all at the same time – and SO satisfied.

Anyway, the Awards Ceremony for the National Championships is a great treat.   I not only won my AG, but I was 2^nd Overall and 1^st Master.  Honestly, it was so gratifying.  And, to get 2^nd OA to Elizabeth was nothing short of fantastic.

We finished our weekend with some pizza, salad (we desperately needed something green), Malbec for Elizabeth and big gelatos!  We took a Trolley tour and went back to hotel room to take apart our bikes (blah).  We were trashed.  Elizabeth and I could barely walk.  My legs ached so bad that night in bed I was praying someone would just bring me pain meds! I was even up at 1am emailing Elizabeth (who was sound asleep in the next bed) for her to get some ibuprofen!!

And, while I did the work yesterday on the course, I am not crazy to think I could do this without the great support of my team.  A special thanks to Jerome – who is a rockstar when I am gone and who gets to have special daddy time with the twins.  Thanks to Dave, Elizabeth and Kate @ ProKine who keep me honest and challenged even after all these years racing…and for keeping it REAL.  Understanding what I can and cannot do at 41 years old and most importantly, allowing me to hit some home runs this year!  AND to my friends,  family,  athletes & my sponsors – your support means the world to me.

Final note: Thanks to those who introduced themselves to us this weekend:  Christie, Pele and others.  And, CONGRATS to Carrie Kimber who was 4th OA at the Long Course Aquabike  – great to see some friends down in OKC!

Here is the link to the USAT press release – where they KEEP reminding me that I am a Master now at 40.

Next up:  THE OFF SEASON!!!!  AND as much pumpkin crap I can eat!

Burlington, Vermont did not disappoint.

I wanted to race USAT Nationals Olympic for a few reasons.  Mostly, I wanted an opportunity to race head to head with the best short course athletes in the country in my 40-44 age group on this given day.

Last time I went to USAT Nationals I was 35-39 and it was in 2007 in Portland.  This is the trip where I earned the nickname Miss Daisy from Driving Miss Daisy.  I was worried about bears, starving to death all the time and always had a bee in my bonnet.  Hence, the nickname.  Fast forward to USAT Nationals in 2012 and Miss Daisy traveled with Elizabeth and Chris Waterstraat – same trio from 2007.  This time, Elizabeth EARNED the nickname MAUDE and for the same reasons I am called Miss Daisy.  I told her it is the impending turning 40 that is making her lose her mind:   the chills, hot flashes, demanding FOOD and coffee, having a meltdown and stomping her feet.  Because guess what happened?  MAUDE came out in Burlington and Miss Daisy was a peppy, happy (and relaxed) as a clam.  Oh the irony. (after 40 you just don’t give a sh*t quite frankly).

But, we had a great time – lots of laughs, good friends and shared respect for each other and our racing preparation.  Our hotel was absolutely disgusting and I rallied and did not complain too much – that is what happens when you jump into an already sold-out Nationals of 3000 athletes – hotels are GONE.  Enter:  Roach motel.

I was calm for Nationals.  I knew I was in great shape and knew that I would have a good day.  The weather was cooler (yay!) and the water choppy.   I can’t ask for much more.  And, mentally I was in a great place.  I have raced Nationals enough (and big, competitive races) to know that YOU MUST have a good swim.  PERIOD.  If you cannot have a good swim at Nationals, you cannot get into the mix right away.  And, in my age group – we were last of the day, so we started at 9am!  I knew I had to work hard from start to finish because the course would be super crowded and I would not know who was 40-44 until I came upon them.

My goal:  NO regrets and TOP 5 Age Group.  Top 10 is Podium at Nationals and the Award Ceremony is as inspiring as it gets in short course racing.  USAT recognizes the TOP 10 in all age groups and it is one of the highlights of each Championship – to see the 80-84 year olds and 70-74 year olds!   I loved it.

I have been feeling really good lately.  Amazing what happens when you don’t train for an Ironman and you specify your training for short course!  Ah!  You feel good!  I knew that if I was going to be in the mix in this race, I would have to swim in the 22 minute range, bike sub 1:10 and run 42 or better.  I was confident in all of those times; however, the wild card was my run.  I KNEW I could run a 42 minute 10k, my workouts had proven that, but that was my HUGE goal for Nationals, run 42 or better, that is 6:45 pace or better.  I did a track workout the Saturday before Nationals (bike/track repeat) and it was VERY good so all things pointed to this being doable. (since last year at this time I was not even walking)

SWIM:  The best thing about the swim here is that it was REAL.  It was choppy and aggressive and just what a National Championships should be.  I secretly was overjoyed.  I was wishing it was worse because then it would most definitely rip apart the age group.  I found my friend Mary B and we tried to relax as we waited forever for our AG to start.  I warmed up a few minutes and then just plopped myself in the front of the AG – it was aggressive – we were all treading water and kicking one another to get position.  But, I don’t care about that – I know if I get a clean line – I can keep Mary B and some of the faster swimmers in my sight and I will be fine.  And, that was true.  I came out of the water in the top 5 and was right where I needed to be.  I felt GOOD in the water – didn’t sight as well since I too am not used to choppy water, but all fine.  We were all slow, but I did not care, just trying to keep the rubber band from snapping from the lead group of 1-3 girls.

BIKE:  Funny because I was most confident in my bike these last couple of months and this is the area that comparatively I did not do as well as I wanted.   But, it was enough to stay in the mix.  The bike was harder than I thought it was going to be and I was trying to get into that rhythm.  I was feeling good though and was passing a ton of the 30-34 girls who started 8 minutes ahead of me.  I kept trying to find ANY 40-44 girls!  I will say that if you are in the top 5 at Nationals (or thereabouts) EVERYONE IS FAST and you do not just “pass” someone – you have to hunt them down and get them.  I got off the bike and really had NO idea where I was.  I had one girl pass me and I knew I was still in that 4-7th position.  Note to self:  TIME to get back to the Computrainer, way better than outside riding for short course training.

RUN:  I felt AWESOME.  I saw 2 girls in front of me in T2 and I made it my mission to get my legs, get up that massive hill out of T1 and then settle and then attack.  I saw my friend Mary B up ahead and after I passed her I worked on getting the girl in the bright yellow POWERBAR kit (Thanks for wearing that color).  I felt light, fast and perfect.  Temps were perfect and the course is fast after that initial hill.  I was moving and everything clicked.  I did not even care where the mile markers are – or what my time was, I was racing.  I was going hard and I was feeling AWESOME.  One of those days you just need to bottle up.  Where you do not want things to end!  I was passing a ton of people and by mile 3 caught Powerbar girl.  I had NO idea where I was so I just started chasing the faster 30-34 girls ahead of me.

I came to mile 6 and one girl came flying by me and I could not respond.  While I felt good, she ended up running a 39:xx and I could not match that pace.  I crossed the finish line – spent but SUPER HAPPY.  I knew I nailed it and I knew I was where I wanted to be.  My final run time?  42:xx !

We waited for results to be posted and I was 6th!  Guess what the time difference was between 5th and 6th?  .01 second.  That is one one hundredth of a second.  I am trying to understand that because I never saw someone that close to me but there must have been someone crossing the mat with me who was 40-44.  It was crowded!  Trust me, when I saw that, I spent some  time trying to digest that one.  BUT:  That is racing!  I left it all out there.

Above is 1/2 of the 40-44 AG podium.  Maude’s picture taking skills need some work.

The best part of short course racing?  Fast, furious and done quickly!

USAT Nationals was one of those races where I said NO REGRETS and I went out and just made it happen.  I am happy today.  I race for many reasons.  Some are public (I crave the competition, I crave being the best I can be at each age, I appreciate the longevity I have in this sport) but some are private too.  I am deeply inspired everyday by the athletes that cannot race and I never take one day for granted any more.  With athletes dying on the courses, athletes fighting cancer or injuries or broken bones or motivation or the demons that run in their heads….I know when things are good – to ride that wave and jump on.  I did all of that on Saturday and that is what makes me tick.  When things are good – I am on that wave because life is short and who knows what tomorrow will bring.  So, for that, I am grateful and HAPPY.

I celebrate each success and this weekend was a HUGE success for me.  One of my best races – while it was far from any PR for me – It got the job done AND I am sure it is a PR for my 40-44 self.

And, I am grateful that I had bought new bright NEON SHOES (Yellow) so that Miss Daisy did not get lost in Burlington.  I literally stopped traffic with them.  And, here the whole weekend I thought it was just because I was cute.  The shoes:

NOT so much.

And, truth be told, all I wanted all weekend was ICE CREAM.  I patiently waited until 9pm on Saturday night for Ben and Jerry’s CHOCOLATE THERAPY (right Caroline?).  It was awesome..I had NO idea Maude (who needed to get her butt to bed and was fading away here) snapped this picture of me.

THANKS to Jerome who stayed home with the kids and supported my passion.  He is such a great supporter and spent some quality time with the kids while I was off in Vermont for 3 1/2 days.  Thank you, Jerome. xxo

Next up:  Maude and Daisy do Long Course Nationals in Oklahoma.  Oh, this will be classic.

I am heading off to Burlington, Vermont later this week to race in the USAT Short Course National Championships.  It has been awhile since I raced Nationals – since 07 in Portland.  I was on my way in 08 to Portland again but that was the year I was hit in my car and it totaled my car (the driver was texting).  I am very excited to be going to Nationals this year and be in a position to race in shape and feeling GOOD.

I love LOVE short course racing.  In fact, I this it is the bread and butter of our sport.  It keeps me fresh, excited and most importantly:  honest.

See, Nationals is no joke. It is an opportunity for the best age group athletes in the country to come together – and race head to head.  And, to me, that is all I want.  I have raced a LOT and sometimes people ask me, “Why Nationals?” when we have a ton of fun, local races here.  And my answer:  To race the best in the country in my 40-44 Age group.

Honestly, I just want ALL the top 40-44 girls to show up, on the same day, on the same course and hammer it out to see who is the fastest that day.  I crave that competition and trying to raise myself up to that level.  The Midwest is not short of talented 40-44 year olds that is for sure….and many I am lucky enough to coach..but at the end of the day, it is me versus the top 40-44 girls and I am excited to have that chance to suffer.

I woke up this morning a little nervous actually.  And, all year, I have not been nervous at all.  I have been challenged but for my Age Group, I want something bigger.   And, Saturday I will get what I have asked for!  Last year Susan Wiliams won the race and my AG.  If you do not know who Susan Williams is, Google 2004 Olympics.  I have not looked at the start list.  The ONLY person I know who is going is my friend Mary Bradbury, who I am hoping to see in the swim at some level!!

For this training cycle – to peak for Nationals I have been:

• Focused
• Eating well:  This means eating healthy but enough to fuel my workouts and help me recover.
• Be at what I think is my ideal race weight – NOT too light or too heavy
• Sleeping 8+ hours/night
• Mentally sharp, positive and visualizing my race on Saturday
• Doing my exact workouts – not more/not less – and being PRESENT for every workout
• Reducing stress
• Recovering like a champ

On Saturday Elizabeth and I did one of our crazy trainer/track repeats together.  We had a good time and both ran and rode way faster than we both thought we would do.  It was a great confidence boost and workout the weekend before Nationals!

The great Spencer Smith used to tell me, “Jen, when the flag drops the shit stops.”

When I show up on the start line at Nationals on Sunday, I will be as prepared as I can be.  And, I will be ready.  I will race my guts out and have no regrets.  And, let the cards fall where they may…but it will only be MY fault if I do not race well.  All the preparation has been ideal.  No excuses, just hard core and fast racing!

And, an opportunity to race the best in the country at short course — when I am at my best for 41 years old.  I can’t ask for much more and I will shred myself apart to hit my goals.

Well, maybe the only thing I would ask for is NOT to always put the 40-44 women LAST….it has been a hard adjustment to me as I turned 40 — it is like all of a sudden, BAM, in the back…but, I digress..

Lately I have been saying “WHO am I?” over and over again – but really, just in jest.  I am not serious, I know who I am.  More on this later…

On Sunday I raced a local Sprint Triathlon.  Jerome is in China, so I needed a race that was close to my parent’s house to help me with the kids.  I wanted to do a tune up before Nationals in 2 weeks.  I have been feeling REALLY good lately, but with short course racing, I needed to race and get used to laying out all out there – ironically without any pressure – 2 weeks out from Nationals.

The distance was 800m OW swim, 20k bike, 5k run.  AH!  A little longer swim – I’ll take it!  The only challenge I have now in local races is that now that I am 40, I am usually always in the last wave and Sunday was no exception.  But, I just made the best out of it and tried to work on passing as many athletes as I could before the finish line.  And, I chased every one of them down…and I really did not know if there was anyone in front of me (females) from the previous waves.

It was nice to catch up with some of my athletes, local friends and meet some new people – low key and actually my old boss (when I was in the corporate world) is the one who called me and asked me to come and race (she is friends with the RD), so that was a motivating factor for me!

Gun went off and I got a GREAT start – I have been working hard on my starts in the OW because if I can get a ½ step on the girls, I can usually get and hang onto clean water..and then if someone goes by me then I can grab their feet.  I did have clean water – for about 1 minute until I hit the wave before us and then the wave before them….I am not sure how many athletes I swam through, but it was a little out of control.   With a local sprint, there were many backstrokers and people out there clearly out of their element.  I was careful not to freak anyone out – and focus on regaining my body position every time I sighted – which was A LOT.  Got out of the water fast and raced to my bike.

Bike was uneventful EXCEPT for the fact that I dropped my water bottle pretty early.  This was a USAT race and the USAT official (one of them) was near me, so I HAD to go back and pick it up – cannot risk a penalty.  So, that was NOT fun as I know every second matters at that distance, but I got it and moved on.  I did watch my Quarq power and it is funny how even in the Sprint we could work harder.  I was working hard but having to ride so far to my left (but not across the  yellow line as traffic was NOT closed)…so a little dodging here and there – and I did have that worry in my cycling as I was more focused on not hitting anyone, but it was all good.  I felt good on the bike.

Onto the run.  I had a few people tell me I was the first female and someone else say I was 2^nd.  All I know is that since I started in the last wave, I had people to chase down and get.  I knew I was leading my 40+ women’s wave, but I was just out to destroy myself.  I felt good – not amazing but good.  I ran hard and was working hard at getting some of my speed back.  I do not ever feel my Achilles anymore – so now it is just a matter of getting that top end speed back (Hello – anyone see it?) and every race I do I run faster, so it is coming.  Then, at about 2 ¼ miles into the 5k I see the gal in front of me.  I was gaining on her fast and we were almost done (she started 3 minutes ahead of me, so I was in theory beating her, but I wanted to pass her!).  She rounded the corner and we still had 800-1000 meters left and she is raising her arms and celebrating.  I thought….she has no idea.  NEVER celebrate anything until you cross that line or results are posted.  Anyway, BAM, there I was – ruining her party (she won last year) and not that my goal is to beat anyone, but I go to win.  No excuses, no exceptions.

Then she saw my race kit with the JHC on the chest and knew I started 3 minutes behind her.

Mission accomplished:  I went to suffer a bit, get my running down a bit, work on a few things, win and HAVE FUN!  All done!

We were cracking up because LOOK at how big this trophy is?  It is like from the 1990s!

Congrats to everyone who raced:  Kelley, Rich and Katrina!  And, thanks to Katie Thatcher who came out and cheered for us!  Great to see some familiar faces out there!

And, speaking of “WHO AM I?  theme…I have been working hard to get to what I think is a good race weight for me for Nationals and since March I have lost 10 lbs, but all while eating ice cream! (rah rah!)   Actually, my goal was to get there before Door County 2 weeks ago.  And, I made some big personal changes too – and this is WAY TOO MUCH information, but I think I will share it with you all (females) because some of you may be considering this….anyway, I went off the birth control pill after being on the same one for longer than I was off.  Yes, I went on the pill at 21 or so – now 20 years later, I was asking myself – DO I really need these chemicals in my body still?  BUT I rarely change anything that is working and I was afraid of what would be on the other side of going off the pill…

But, I did it June 1^st.  I felt AWESOME…in fact better than ever.  I have been sleeping awesome, lost my appetite (my ravenous appetite!) and feel good.  BUT, I am eating ice cream like a crazy woman (I do not even like ice cream), cleaning my bike, crying when my neighbors did not invite me to a get-together.  I MEAN REALLY?  Jerome is like, “are you a girl now?”   Yes, I am a girl now.  But, if I get pregnant with twins again, I will REALLY be a mess !!

Oh goodness, shame on me for not updating my blog in a timely fashion!  Honestly, nothing personal, but I have been swamped.  It is like asking a tax accountant to go on vacation the month before April 15th!  I am here and all is GOOD!  I have been working feverishly all summer and when I am not working I am training/racing and trying to balance it all and be a GOOD MOM….all of which is not easy (as you all know!).  My kids are heading back to school in just over 2 1/2 weeks!

The kids were at sleep over camp for the week of the 4th of July and I headed down to Tucson for a change of scenery.  I went down solo as Jerome had to stay home and work (and be our emergency parent home) and spent the week training and working.  I got a TON of work done because it was so hot in the afternoon that all I did was work work work all afternoon and night – it was glorious.  I got a ton done and was a hermit all week except for a little visit with Gail L. and Jen Lynn, which was a nice ADULT interaction for the week.  I got lucky in Tucson too – the weather was COOL for Tucson (while it was breaking records at home) and I even rode up Lemmon and it was barely 80F!!  Lovely.

I think people were shocked I was in Tucson alone for 1 week.  Oh!  Well, that is easy for me, while I am very social, I really enjoy being by myself and had NO issues being gone the week!

After my last Triathlon – at the end of June, I was getting ready to race the Door County 1/2 Ironman this past Sunday.  This was going to be my “A” race of the season, but I had a change of heart (read:  feeling good and our house is not selling),  so I added short course AND Long course Nationals to the schedule (yeah!).  But, our huge Door County trip that was going to include:  Katie, Mia, Stacie and Karen turned immediately to just me, Mia and Katie.

Door County is beautiful if you ever can go – just a lovely Lake Michigan town about 5 hours north of Chicago in rural Wisconsin.  Home of the Green Bay Packers – consider yourself warned.  I agreed to do the driving, which was a Saturday AM departure and a Sunday afternoon return!  Phew!

Last year this race was 100F degrees and we NEVER thought we would see those temps again that far north – OH….we were wrong, it was definitely not 100F, but it was 90F and humid.  I like this race because we swim in “cool” Lake Michigan and there is an ELITE wave.

I did not know too many of the Elite girls except for Adrienne, Kimberly Gooddall and Karin Langer, but I was glad to have these girls in the wave -sometimes athletes sand bag and do not race elite.  WHY?  I have no idea.  Yes, I was out in no man’s land the ENTIRE race – I ride and run solo – even so alone I have to make sure I am on the course sometimes – but you know what?  It is a fair race in the front and it is REAL racing.  Yes, it is lonely but if you want to be the best – RACE the best.   I think some athletes do it because they take the Elites out of the Age Group awards.  I have to be extremely honest here – I could give a sh*t.  I race to be my best and to lay it all out there.  I do not race for awards.  I race to be the best athlete I can be at 41 years old on that given day.  And, I like to race off the front.

I felt so good for this race.  In fact, I have never felt so good before a race since 2005.  I am serious here.  I did taper for this race and was completely nutritionally topped off.  I was SO sick of eating by the time we went to bed on Saturday night.  I absolutely carb-load pre- half IM and the difference it makes is like night and day.  I was SO excited to race.  I literally jumped out of bed and immediately put my race kit on as soon as my alarm went off!

They started the approximately 75 Elites – male/female – together.  I got a GREAT start – I was out in front looking for the other women and I realized it was just me!  After about 300 m the gal who eventually came out of the water 1st went by me and I used her draft but she was hammering too much for me so she gapped me a bit.  I was swimming so effortlessly.  I felt awesome!  It was one of those swims where I was like “OH THIS is awesome – I LOVE THIS” feeling.  Then, I found Karin Langer who is a great swimmer and I hung onto her feet and finished right behind her – we were 2nd and 3rd out of the water – I had one of the best swims I have EVER had.  And, I gauge a good swim on how I am feeling and where I come out of the water – coming out in the Elite pack 2nd/3rd is right where I want to be – regardless of time.  I did not even look at my watch!  I had a race to race!

Onto the bike….I headed right out and was 3rd on the bike.  Unfortunately Karin flatted and was delayed a bit fixing her bike – so I moved to 2nd and felt so good I had to remind myself this was a Half IM, NOT an Oly race.  I was watching my power and speed and we were moving (we had a tailwind here).  I felt so good it was scarey.  And, I was making sure I was not over-riding anything here.  I passed the first place girl and then was riding in 1st place for a bit and Adrienne and I leap frogged for about 20 miles or so.  I was drinking and eating and taking in my salt because it was HOT out and I could feel it already (the race did NOT start until 8am?).  I felt really good until about mile 40 when I was HOT and wanted to be off my bike – and had a moment of, “OH!  I need to slow down and eat/drink more.”  By now my power meter was not working (or by mile 25 it went off – nice) – which is OK because I don’t like feedback much anyway, but I ONLY wear it so I do not over-ride the first 30 miles or so.  I ate all my gels (5) and wanted MORE.  And, I took in 4 bottles and wanted MORE – and I was under 2 hours on the bike at this point!  It was that hot.  So,  I slowed down a bit, and took in more fluids and got another gel at the AIDE station and came into T2 in 3rd place.  I did not feel SUPER but it was more of a heat management issue than anything else at this point.

I sat down to pee in T2, as I always do and I was clearly hydrated.  Honestly for me in that heat, I just need to go slower than I want to – so honestly, my entire day is fighting with myself to go faster NO slower NO faster NO slower …to ensure I can run 13.1 miles in that heat.  Got out of T 2 in 4th place and it was so hot we were running on the extreme side of the road for ANY shade and I even carried a hand held flask to get in more fluids.  I took ice/cold water from every aide station and kept that in my sports bra and that helped a ton.  The first 4 miles were AWFUL – I quit the sport again, but the good news is that I know what to do when things get a little ugly in the heat – you MUST slow down and stay cool/wet.  So, I did that.  I had since taken off my watch, so I ran as I could – by RPE and on a day like that, that is what you do.  I took in a chocolate caffeinated gel and that helped and I finally got my legs back around mile 5-6.  Then, after that I was pretty good.  There are several BIG hills on this course – one called the BLUFF, which is a monster, but otherwise, it was open, hot and a little slow.

I could not wait to finish.  I can’t believe sometimes how much I forget how much the 1/2 IM distance hurts and how badly I wanted those last 3 miles to BE OVER!!!  But, I knew I was doing OK because I held my position and ended up finishing 4th Elite in a slower time of just over 5 hours.  After the Age Group athletes were done, that put me in 2nd AG, which I was not super thrilled about, but I had to race the girls that started with me.  So, all in all a GOOD day for me – NOT great, a slower time for me due to the heat, but overall I was pleased.  Any day you can control the elements and come out ahead is a good day!

After my finish I went back and watched Marc, Joe, Brad, Rick, Scott, Katie, Sharon and Mia finish – as they all did.  However, Mia had crashed on her bike at mile 10 or so and it was bad.  HOW this girl finished the race is beyond me.  We call her Mia BEAST and this further explains why:  When she crashed, she thankfully did not break any bones but she took a CHUNK of her knee out.  When I saw her at the finish line I took her to the MED tent and looked at her knee.   I am NOT kidding, it was absolutely disgusting.  So bad that I wanted her to go to the ER.  She would have nothing to do w/ that because she knew it was so bad she wanted to get home to her boss and her hospital (she is a DR).  Thankfully Sharon is a nurse and was able to help Mia with the med staff at the race because Katie and I could barely look at it.  And, yes we immediately drove home – got home at 10pm and Mia went straight to the hospital to meet w/ the surgeon/plastic surgeon for repair.  NOW if this was anyone else, we would have been at the hospital in Door County but Mia – being a MD was able to work with the staff MD at the race and “fix” things until we got back to Chicago.

I really was going to post a picture of her open knee – but I can’t do it.  I can barely open it to save it, etc.  Let’s just say you can put your finger down to her knee bone and tendons.  She is having it vacuumed shut today and will be OK long term.  And, Mia, I love you, but STOP sending me pictures of your knee!!!! 🙂

Congrats to everyone who raced at Door County – LOTS of great races in that heat on Sunday.  Thanks to Katie and Mia who traveled with me to!  A BIG thank you to Jerome who has been nothing short of awesome.  I was gone last weekend with my sister/Mom and then racing this weekend – thanks sweetie.

Next up:  Local Sprint next weekend and then USAT AG Nationals in August!

Continuing on my “FUN” train, I raced a local sprint Triathlon this weekend:  Twin Lakes Triathlon.  I have done this race 3 years in a row, but it has been around for 20 years, so yes, I did it back in the mid-90s as well when I was racing as:  Jennifer Parker.  I just saw those results this past weekend and that was fun.  Ironically, my swim has not changed much in 15+ years – go figure.  🙂

The race had 500 athletes and they sent off the fastest (per swim time) in the first wave of 62 athletes.  The water was HOT but it is only a 1/2 mile and if the wetsuits are legal – wear them.  I think Ben and Patrick could hear me gasp when they said they left their wetsuits at home.  People….wetsuits are ALWAYS faster…and they require a ton less energy – if wetsuits are legal, wear them.  ALWAYS.  Anyway, there was a little trash talk before the race, but I don’t mess around with the boys — I mean, THEY should beat me…and I want them too, so I was only trash talking the swim (I am smart).

Anyway, I was first out of the swim wave at 9:42 for the 1/2 mile and screamed at Patrick who was right behind me: “I told you to wear that wetsuit!”  AND I beat him out of T1, so I was first on the bike – but that lasted all of 15″ as he went by me and went on to average 26 mph for 14 miles versus my 23 mph!  Yep (see, that is why I keep my mouth shut).

I had a great ride and came into T2 without ever seeing any females.  I got off the bike with a pack of about 5 guys..so I was running in about 9th or 10th overall and my goal was to be top 10 (with the men) so I was working hard to stay with them and trying to keep Ben in my sights.

I was running well.  We GOT super lucky and the weather was perfect.  I mean 70F degrees, so I better be able to run well!  IT was so fun…I was running hard and FINALLY running well – I was clicking off 6:45s and finally below that 7 min mark that has taken me awhile to get back after my injury.

I crossed the finish line as 1st Female and gave it all I had. I could barely stand up  when I was finished.  I knew that the next woman was no where to be seen, but that didn’t matter to me.  I wanted to run 6:xx for this run and I did and if I just “eased up” because I was winning that doesn’t get me anywhere….so, I pushed MAX effort from start to finish.   I ended up winning by 6+ minutes (and a course PR for me), which is lovely, but…

The night before the race the kids asked to come and watch!  The twins have seen Jerome and I race a lot, so I do not always bring them. PLUS this race started at 6:30am and I was done by 7:45 or so….so a rough, early start for kids.  BUT, Jerome (trooper!) brought them and while I never KNEW that they were there – they were!  I am so focused in the race,  I would not notice if the President of the USA was there…but I saw them afterwards and Graham asked why I did not win.   I said, “I did win.”  No, mom, those boys beat you.  HA…yes they did Graham….and you know what?  That is OK. 🙂  I love it that Graham sees no gender in sports (YET).

I rushed home so Jerome could go for a ride and I went out to breakfast with the kids.  I could not eat anything – ever since it has been hot here in Chicago, I have NO appetite – nothing interests me – no wonder my Hawaii friends are all 95 lbs!  How can you eat when it is always SO hot?

But, one thing that I know is I am SO fired up and excited to race and train.  AND that is always a boat that I want to be on. I feel GREAT!  And, I realized I am fit and need to get out and race some larger races, so with that promise and talking to my little inner circle (Dave my forever mentor, Jerome and Elizabeth – thanks guys) I decided to put my name on the wait list for Short Course Nationals and see if I can get in.  Then, I signed up for Long Course Nationals (1/2 IM) in Oklahoma…and I am doing a competitive 1/2 IM  next month in Wisconsin.  Time to get on the party train now versus the “all fun” train!

I am excited to step up the bigger races and get out in the mix more!

SO many friends and athletes that raced Twin Lakes – Congrats to everyone out there and thanks to everyone for cheering for me!  I “kind of” heard you all. 🙂  (I did see you Laura Wheatley – thanks for the pictures!).

Here is a picture of Patrick and I – overall winners – I had the pleasure of coaching Patrick for a few years – he is getting ready for IMKY.

This past weekend, we had a great family fun weekend.  It was one of those weekend where you sit down on Sunday night and wish you had another day (well, that is every weekend, but…)…

Since 2004 this weekend has been our annual trek to the East coast to visit Jerome’s parents and race Eagleman 70.3.  This year we decided to take a break from that trip (race really) and stay home.  And, we surely made the best of that decision.

Our weekend started off with a dance recital for Morgan and her friends.  They were in HIP HOP, which at 10 years old is still cute.  They were in SKIN TIGHT silver pants, fake eyelashes and full make-up.  Gosh…anyway, here is Morgan and her friend Della post show.  Excuse the eyes, this was taken on my IPhone.

And, then there were 2 soccer games…where Graham won both!  (which is not always the case this season).  Here he is after one game at the “Graham”  Coffee House.

Then, on Saturday night, it was Jerome’s turn in the fun weekend.  For those of you who do not know Jerome, he LOVES a few key things in life:  Coffee, Bikes and Beer….and he is always researching and trying to find the best beers all over the world.  So, on Saturday night after the recital, he opened up this and started to decide which one to have.  And, yes, this is in our basement (not how NEAT this is!).

And, then on Sunday morning we had 2 events…Graham ran a 5k with Jerome and ended up winning the AG.  Now, the reason this is so key is that the AG is 14 & under.  So, basically every year Graham does this 5k (hometown) race, someone beats him because FRESHMAN in high school are 14 years old.  I have complained (!) to the RD, but to no avail.  So, this year when Graham did the 5k and won his AG he said it was the “BEST DAY OF HIS LIFE!”  🙂

And, then there was a fun Triathlon for me!  Lake in the Hills triathlon is local, fun and I just had the best time EVER.  I woke up on Sunday morning and literally jumped out of bed – so excited I was racing locally with all my friends and triathletes that have been around these parts forever!  And, this year, Trudy the RD added an Elite wave, so it was trash talking all morning and all day.  I was fortunate to win the race (and set a course PR and I felt awesome!) and have Marie Carberry there from the Village taking some fun pictures of me racing!  Thanks Marie!

After the 5k, Triathlon – we headed to another soccer game for Graham and then to a Pool Party for the Masters team I swim on – by the time the weekend was over – we all needed another day!  We would not have it any other way – HAPPY SUMMER!

Last update I was talking about how “relaxed” I was this year and how I was going to just lay low.

That lasted one race.

After my sprint triathlon last month, I was not happy.  I had a great time at the race and won the AG, but it was not a race I was proud of – I did not race super well.  I thought I would just go with the flow – OR worse yet, that I could just race on my experience and guts.  Well, friends, that doesn’t work anymore.  Triathlon is a whole different ball game now – and there is always someone faster and stronger and well, everything, than you and I.  I had 2 choices:  either stick with my initial plan of “fun” or scrap it and get to work.  Truth be told, I had done all the work, I was fit and in shape…but, mentally I was giving myself an “out.”  WHICH is OK if you can handle the consequences of that; I could not.

So, I went back to the drawing board, told the team of people I keep close to me that I was changing directions and going to RACE and GAME is on.  And you know what that means?  I had to go from mindless training to MINDFUL training.

One of the things that athletes – especially new athletes – tend to make the biggest mistakes on is just going with the flow.  Following a group plan or following a group activity without any specifications to their individual needs.  These athletes just train to the point of just being obsessive about the sport – NOT what is the right workout to do in order to meet their goals.  I was doing what I wanted each day.  Sure, there was track and hard workouts – but if I did not want to push on the bike, I did not.  And that is not mindful training.  That is “working out”.  There is a huge difference.  I wanted to ride with my friends who had different agendas than I did and it just allowed me to socialize and talk too much.  That is not specific training, that is “working out” …AND when the goals and outcomes of races make me upset or disappointed, then it is time to re-assess.

It was my turn to either change my training OR change my attitude on my race results.  And, my attitude was not budging.

I changed my training.  I got a little more specific.  And, I started to rest and get rid of the junk in the plan.   AND I TAPERED for this race.  Yep, no excuses.

Fast forward to this weekend when I went to Hammond, Indiana (no need to go there, fyi), to race an Olympic Distance race: Leon’s.  There is a ton of history with this race.  In fact, I did one of the original races in the mid-90s.  Then, the race went away and now, thankfully, it is back.  And, this year held a super, super competitive field.  And, an AG Elite wave.  And, since I am not racing Eagleman next weekend (boo sniff) this was a great year for me to race.

There is a TON of media with this event.  Comcast covers the entire event and interviews all the past champions and some of the new competitors.  It is awesome!  One of the athletes I work with, Chris Wickard is the 2x Champion there, so not only was she interviewed, but I was too.  And, as a coach and competitor, that was awesome.

Leon’s is fast and flat:  Perfect for me.  Nothing suits me better – well except rain and hail and 100 mph winds, but that is not necessarily safe.  The Elite women went off with the Elite men and that always worries me, so I focused on staying outside of the mayhem and swam to the LEFT of the pack.  I got clean water immediately and grabbed some feet and sailed in.  I FELT awesome.  I do love my TYR Hurricane and the water was 66F degrees, so nice and cold!  Came out of the water in 20:34 and was 3^rd or 4^th out of the water….

As a side note…I knew how competitive this race was going to be. Not only with Chris and all the past athletes but some young fresh faces – like Jenn Howland who is the AG National champion of some young age..she is 17.  By the way, she beat me out of the water by 2 minutes!!!  DAMN!!!  I knew this was her first Olympic and if I was going to stay upfront, I would have to out bike her.

Chris was off on the bike and I knew Jenn H was up in the lead – I could see the TV cameras.  And, a new fresh face, Darcy was out there too, I finally realized once I passed her.  Anyway, we rode and rode hard and we were moving.  I finally had Jenn H in sight and passed her and said to her, “DO NOT give up …keep a short leash on us during this ride – because you can out –run all of us!”  And, that is the truth.  I have known  Jenn for a very long time – since she was probably about 12…and I knew she was not used to getting passed by her young competitors.  And, I knew that mentally us passing her would freak her out, so I didn’t want her to give up.  MANY give up when they are passed…why? IT IS A LONG race…anything can happen.

Anyway, I hammered on the bike and Robbie Ventura was on the course and Chris rode in 1^st and I rode in 2^nd for the 2^nd half of the bike and he kept screaming, “It is Harrison Harrison” because Chris had on the JHC shorts.  FUN!

I was NOT gaining on Chris at all.  We came into T 2 and she had a minute on me.  That is A LOT of time to make up on a 10k.  I had the camera on me still and ran for 3 miles with them attached at my hip.  It is an odd feeling.  I felt good and was running sub 7 pretty easily, but I was working. I KNEW what was coming behind me.

Side note:  Work with me on this one, girls….so the camera is on me for the first 3 miles of the run AND I was working and it did not bother me, but darn if they show my ASS running that whole time on TV when this race airs — I will be eating lettuce for the rest of my life.

But, I will confess I was SO HAPPY.  Do you ever start a triathlon and during the race think, “WHAT AM I DOING?”  I used to think that in the water….NOT this year or even today.  I was like, “I am in 2^nd at mile 3 of this thing!”  My goal was TOP 10 Elite!  YIPPEEEEE!  (where is the nearest Dairy Queen? – kidding, I was Not thinking about this as I was racing!)

Anyway, I could hear the girls and we had a turn around and everyone seemed to be hauling ass.  And, I felt like I was just holding it together.

And, then along came Adrienne, who ended up winning Overall..she was running so fast, there was NO way I could go…she ended up running a 37:00 for the 10k and then another gal went by and she ended up running a 37:12 or something..so at least I was in good company.  I was still in the 6:45 range give or take AND getting passed hard.

But, I was not slowing that much and just kept the course…Amanda and I came down the chute together and after going back and forth all day together in parts, it was a great way to end the race – for her and I.  She is getting faster and faster every race!!

So, for the Elites, I came in 5^th.  I was super happy.  A few of the AG women were up in that time mix too and I really wish they would have raced Elite, because it is a different game up front solo…but they did not.

And, afterwards it was a huge social party.  Talking to everyone…seeing old, familiar faces….great to see Lindsay Zucco, who we have raced together since the beginning of time – she raced Elite too and had a great race as well….and that young Jenn Howland?  She finished right behind me with a 39:xx minute 10k.  So, she’s going to be tough to beat once she gets some muscle on her (cycling strength).  I was just happy to be in the game, happy to be feeling good and just – well, we had a great time!

I have to tell you who the real trooper of the weekend was:  MIA…a friend and athlete from here who went with me to Leon’s.  I was NOT nervous about this race, but I was a little crazed about the hotel room and HAMMOND…see, you can still smoke in Indiana in public..and the hotel, restaurant and everything smelled like a big gross ash tray.  I was stressed that the hotel was having a wedding..and that I would not sleep.  Mia was so nice and so accommodating…really, a trooper.  I did sleep 8 hours that night and everything turned out super.  Thanks Mia!

AND Congrats to all the athletes out there…I will forget many, but the athletes that I coach that were there and ALL had PRs or great races – CONGRATS:  Mia, Chris, Alison, Brad, Cristie, Dave B, Mark Evenson – Congrats!!!

This year the Galena Triathlon was another race I wanted to my race calendar.  It is just 2 hours from my house and one of my sorority sisters has a cute and quaint home there.  I have done Galena 7-8x and while it is super hilly and hard; I love it.  Many local athletes and friends of mine are out there – it is a the official Kick-Off to the triathlon season.

I drove out with Karen and Elizabeth.  I had invited Elizabeth later once I realized she was, in fact, going to race.  Poor Karen…she is used to me, but add in Elizabeth and we talk non stop about a TON of random things back and forth.  And, we bitch and moan about not being at race weight and then eat a LARGE Blizzard after the race and figure out why we “only” won on AG at this race.  I am sure Karen was DONE with us when we got home.

Galena has 2 different transitions, so we are all bused to the start of the race early in the AM.  Honestly, the bus ride was the best time ever.  Elizabeth, Jenny Garrison (who had just given birth 10 weeks ago and won her AG too – amazing) laughing like school girls on the bumpy and erratic drive to the lake!

I will say that I had fun.  It is like a mini- Chicago National Championships. Many are there fast and fit and ready to win.  I like the competitiveness of this race.  The only thing I do not like is that there is NO Elite wave.  There really should be – just purely from a safety standpoint.  And, of course, my wave is last because it always is.  So, not only did I go last but had to ride the course (which was open to traffic coming the OTHER WAY!!) with everyone riding 4-5 abreast on the road.  Made for a dangerous race!   But, that is racing and I just did my best not crash or plow into anyone.

I was first out of the water and first out of T2…I had not seen anyone in my AG all day.  And, that is the hard part…you “THINK” you are going hard and working because you are passing hundreds of people and are leading the AG, but it really is never fast enough in that kind of mix of waves!

Anyway, it was 90F and humid and I LOVE that weather but it went from 50F to 90F in typical format – 1 day – so that hurt badly.  I led out of T2 and heard footsteps…and thought, “WHO is that?”  Then, I see this gal as we are crawling up the first big hill and she passes me.  HOLY hell.  Well, isn’t that a kick in the ass?  I could not respond.  I was already maxed out and knew it was going to be a long run in that heat.  She put 20 meters on me right away.

I could see her and I did NOT let her go.  I carried a small flask of my EFS because this course only has 1-2 water stations (this is the first year it has ever been hot there) with just water.  In these temperatures, I needed more.  The run was 4.3 miles of rolling and hilly terrain.

Then, I saw her mistake.  She probably thought there were more aide stations – but I knew and warned everyone there was 1 for sure and maybe 2.  She blew thru it…and if she did take something she did not drink anything (poured it over her head)….I took and poured over my head and drank!  Well, around mile 2 I was gaining on her.  And, by mile 2.5 I was on her shoulder and had my legs back and was now running much stronger than she was.  She was melting in that heat!!

Then, came a place in the race where we go down into this little valley and out.  There was water at the top of this in and out.  She was dying for water and then I made the strategic decision to blow thru that water station and drink from my flask.  At this point, it was mile 3 + and I only had just over 1.5 miles left and fluid to drink.  I surged hard and knew that if I did not do it then, I would never catch her because after this aide station the race is downhill.  She did not respond!  I was so happy because not only did I win the AG, but I never gave up.  It is SO easy in races that are that hot and hilly (when we are not used to that terrain) to feel sorry for yourself and not really suffer….but I would have none of that.  While I want to have fun – I want to win just as bad.

And, nothing beats a head to head sufferfest while racing!  It is my favorite!

Yesterday I really had to do some soul searching.  I realize this may sound so lame to a lot of you who read this blog..but for some of you who really know me and know the dynamics of a race like this will understand where I am coming from.  I had told myself I wanted to have “FUN” this year…and I am!  But, what does that really mean?  I think I thought if I trained hard and did the work then I would show up and always be in the mix of things…and for the most part, that is true.  But, after the overall finish on Saturday I realized I cannot have it all.  

If I want to train and have fun then I MUST attach the end result to that attitude. You can’t have it all.

Gone are the days where I can piss around and show up and expect to win anything.  GONE GONE GONE!

So, while I worked through my thoughts yesterday and poor Elizabeth and Jerome had to listen to my ramblings (thank you!) I realized that I need to pull my head out of my A$$ and get after it.  So, I changed my mind.  I was taking the year “low key” because the house is on the market and I was FRIED last year after training and racing IM AZ on my injury…..BUT the house is not selling and my Achilles is GOOD…so what the HECK AM I DOING?

I want to race and do well.  I am in good shape, just need some fine tuning and a kick in the butt on some structure.  So, here I go.  Funny how you think you want one thing…but clearly, you want another.  The good news is that we are allowed to change our minds!  And, we are allowed to take risks and as long as our expectations and END results are in line with our training and commitment then it all works out nicely.

I thought I could just “have fun”….but I realize I do not roll that way. At all.

In keeping with my theme this year: “FUN”….I am having a great time..but I am finding myself wanting to go longer and do more.  I think part of the problem is that we are having the BEST weather ever.  You know, 60s and 70s and dry (unheard of here)…and sunny!  It just makes you want to train and not work.

I was out on my bike today and my ride was super short..and I thought, “that is all!”  I am so used to training for the Ironman that anything under 3 hours seems silly.  Of course now I am doing harder intervals and harder overall rides, but I am having fun on the bike…and that was the first thing I wanted to throw away after IM.

AND, the open water is basically open now.  Another sign summer is here.  I am dying to get into the water – I wanted to go last week but I could not get any takers (boo)!  And, I will not swim OW solo…you know, the water monsters will get me.

Now it is May 15th and I am starting to race a lot.  I am so happy to race all short stuff…I am racing Galena this weekend…one of my all time favorite races:  hilly and competitive!  I have done it like 7-8x but it is still one of my favs.  Then, I am doing a 10 mile run race over the Holiday weekend…then I am racing Leon’s…which is a VERY competitive OLY race in Indiana…I actually did the original ones (before Leon stopped doing the race – and re-started it) in the mid 90s.

Then, I am racing a little local Sprint the weekend of June 10th.  I usually race Eagleman 70.3 that weekend.  And, for those who have known me, know it is my all time favorite race.  But, we cannot go this year.  In my theme of “low key” it was not making the cut…and the final straw was it is Morgan’s dance recital that weekend.  So, no EM for me (sniff boo)….

Then, the last weekend in June I am doing another local sprint.  I am NOT sure who I think I am doing these Sprints.  Gasp….And, then a 1/2 Ironman in July up in Wisconsin.

Then, I am at a loss.  See, my fitness is actually very good for May because I am coming off the massive training I did last year and then I rested and now feel GREAT.  So, strike when the iron is hot is my motto!  And, as long as I have the desire to race, I gotta go with it.

The last race I have planned is my 1/2 Ironman in July…22nd weekend.  Well, that leaves August and the fall to do some more things.  My favorite distance is the 1/2 IM, so that is what I am thinking I should do…I do not want to do run races (not like a marathon or anything).  I have thrown around the idea of SC Nats or LC Nationals, but that takes away my “FUN” theme….and while I am fit enough to race there, not sure I want to…travel.

So, that is what is running through my mind these weeks.  I am training like I am doing Nationals….I am training like I normally do.  In fact, I was on the track yesterday and FINALLY after 6 weeks of speed work I am seeing some times that I should be doing on the track.  BEST workout ever.  HONEST and hard. Most athletes run too easy and too much on the track.  Get on the roads for that stuff.  The track is for hard running and pace work.  Every time I go to the track, I am nauseous with fear and anticipation.  And, I know what I can do on the track pretty clearly.  And, yesterday was a great breakthrough for me coming off this damn achilles injury from last fall.

Anyway, now I am rambling…but all I have to figure out is what I should do after July 22nd.  And, NO IM please…remember, I said NO already to Hawaii…and I don’t regret that decision at all.

Oh and irony of this?  We took an easy year b/c we put our house up on the market and wanted to start to build our new house?  WELL our house is not going anywhere…we have had NO bites in 10 weeks.  It is a horribly tough market out there …and while I knew it would be TOUGH, I had no idea this rough….so there is NO building anything until this house sells.

I am open to your racing thoughts – throw them out!!